You Gave Up
by GryffindorGoddess28
Summary: It's Lily and James' 7th year and James is suddenly different. He's no longer asking her out or bugging her. Then what's Lily's problem? Is it that she finally fell for James?


Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING ANYONE RECOGNIZES!!!  
  
a/n: OK, I'm not done with my other story, I just can't update it until I get some more reviews [because that was the deal] and I thought of this one-shot and thought, WHY NOT?  
  
Summary: It's Lily and James' 7th year and James is suddenly different. He's no longer asking her out or bugging her. Then what's lily's problem? Is it that she finally fell for James? RR!!  
  
YOU GAVE UP...  
  
He had changed. As much as Lily hated to admit it, the arrogant, annoying, obnoxious James Potter had changed. The James Potter she had known was now... well...not arrogant, obnoxious, OR annoying. He hadn't even asked her out ONE DAMN time, only saying like "hello" and other FRIENDLY grettings! And the best part, at least for Lily? Now, she found herself thinking...over and over... all the time..."Doesn't he like me anymore?" And? And and and it actually made her SAD! It made her sad that he WASN'T asking her out! What kind of messed up world is this? Lily WANTING to get asked out and James NOT TALKING TO HER?!?!?! Lily was on an emotional roller coaster she desperately wanted off of. It wasn't fair. She finally thinks she might not hate him, and he decides to not like her anymore? Lily was becoming obsessed...she found herself staring at him, watching him. He seemed normal, joking around with his friends, flirting [with OTHER girls], doing his work [on occasion]. IT WASN'T FAIR!!! Lily realized why it pissed her off so much... she couldn't, no wouldn't admit it. No matter how you tried to drag it out of her. No matter what you did. she would never, EVER, admit that she, Lily Evans, had fallen for James Potter.   
  
So, what did the Amazing Lily Evans do? Well, of course she buried herself in her work. It was N.E.W.T.S this year anyway, no one found it suspicious that the HEad Girl was always busy, either buried in her work or her duties. She spent a lot....a LOT of time with the Head Boy. It was too bad that the Head Boy was an ANNOYING and EXTREMELY obsessive Ravenclaw named Dylan Mason. Everything had to be done to perfection for him, and Lily found herself re-doing many of the plans some of the prefects came up with, just so she didn't have to hear him rant... he was extremely long-winded along with obsessive. The good thing about her diving into her schoolwork was now she was the top in all her classes, even potions, even though the professor hates her and all Gryffindors. She was even ahead of James and Sirius, who have been at the top of their classes [except potions, they always screwed up on purpose in that class...] since year one. Oddly enough, she took some pride in that.   
  
It was Thursday morning and the lucky 7th years who had high enough marks had NEWTS potions class. Lily was thankful that it wasn't a double period. It was going to be a long day for Lily, she had finished all of her homework due within the next week and was ready to finish up anything but she had a Heads meeting with Mason and she KNEW he wanted to go over every last damn detail of the up coming Halloween dance that he had convinced Dumbledore the 4th years and up just HAD to have. That's the thing with Mason, he NEEDS to be planning something....constantly planning and being active. Stupid little hyperactive nitwit. Professor Deledda, the Potions master, was babbling on about... Lily sighed, she needed to pay attention. She took out her notes and quill and began to listen. Oh, Deledda was talking about assigning tutors. Great. Lily had a dreadful feeling that she was giong to be assigned to tutor a Slytherin. They all hated her for being muggle-born and felt no need to disguise their disgust.   
  
"And, futhermore, I have been informed I am NOT to choose your partners. I will cast a spell to match you up. The list will be posted at dinner in the Great Hall. Now run along to your next class." Professor Deledda said this dully, as if she'd prefer nothing more than to not bother with the list at all. Lily gathered up her things and made her way to Transfiguration. It passed like normal, as did all her other classes, with her working her butt off until the end of class and then leaving, rushing off to her next class without saying a word. Dinner came at last and everyone rushed to see who would be tutored by whom. Lily looked at the list of tutors... Elliot...Emmons...Evans! OK...and she would be tutoring....Sirius Black. Lily sighed. Fantastic. Freaking fantastic! Ugh...now to find the idiot. Just because she liked his mate doesn't mean HE got any less annoying. She saw him at the end of the Gryffindor table, stuffing his face yet again. Walking up behind him, she tapped his shoulder.  
  
"What?" he asked, spinning around, spraying her with food.  
  
"Thanks, Black. I was planning on eating the food, but I suppose wearing it is better, huh? [sigh] Look, I've been assigned your tutor. Meet me in the library after dinner tomorrow...7 o'clock sharp, got that? Good." And she walked away without letting him get in another word. She sat at the other end of the table, with no one in particular, just like always. Only, this time, she didn't notice the boy staring at her from the other end of the table. The three of them were quietly discussing the beautiful redhead.   
  
"What'd she say, Padfoot?" James asked his best mate quietly. Sirius, who had began to steadily eat again, just grunted and said something that sounded like "Tutoring". Remus just chuckled as he, too, began to eat, though not as much as his friend. James gasped and rushed to the Tutor sign Deledda had put up. He found his name and saw he was being tutored by...thank goodness, Remus! He walked back to his friends, sat down and began to eat quite like Sirius. Remus, who had finished his meal, just sat staring at James, waiting for the news. James continued to eat until Remus cleared his throat. James sighed, looked up at Remus and said "Moony, you're tutoring me, don't have a hissy fit." And began to steadily eat. Remus was very glad at this news, knowing very well that James is a fine potion-maker and his work would be simple. Just convince James to try in class. Brillant. With that, he excused himself and went to go talk to Lily, who he noticed was yet again eating alone.  
  
"Lily? Can I sit here?" Remus asked quietly. She looked up smiled and nodded. "Sure." Her and Remus were...well more like study partners than friends, but on friendly terms [or at least friendlier terms]. Lily was still eating, but was looking at Remus, waiting for him to say something. Remus smiled and asked "I was wondering if you'd like to tutor our tutees together?" he asked, cheerfully. Lily looked suspicious. "Umm...That depends on who you're tutoring, 'cause if you want me to help you deal with a jerk-Slytherin, not a chance." Remus laughed and said. "No....well...I'm tutoring.." he looked nervous suddenly, then murmured "James." Lily looked at him, sighed, then shrugged. "I suppose...he hasn't been nearly so annoying lately. I'll meet you three at the library tomorrow, 7:00. OK?" And with that, she walked off. On the outside, nothing was out of the ordinary, but on the inside, she was celebrating. She wasn't very clear on why, especially since she was on her way to meet Mason on yet ANOTHER meeting about the Halloween ball, which was a little over 1 week away. It took all her self control from doing a little dance right there, but not all the self control in the world could wipe that smile off her face.   
  
Reaching the Head's Common Room, she said the password [Codswallop] and made her way past the portrait of a knight. Inside, she saw Mason, with all of his lovely papers all out in front of him, already editing one of the thousands of lists he made. Immediately, the smile fell as she realized how long they were going to be there. Goody.  
  
Hours later, and with a very large headache, Lily made her way to her private dorm. They had finally finished all the plans to Mason's standards and the ball would go off without a hitch. Hopefully. If not, Mason's head just might explode, and as funny as that would be, Lily had to admit he was a pretty good Head Boy and only annoyed her when it was in connection to being Head Boy and Girl. She liked that, not trying to become her friend or any such nonsense. She didn't have friends really, more like people who didn't hate her.... people who she was nice to and they were nice back. Otherwise, she was rather secluded. But, she was okay with that. She wasn't teased but wasn't popular either. She noticed more than others though, because she was ignored quite a bit. Like, she knew Remus had a secret, one she wasn't about to tell anyone. Poor boy, being a werewolf must be so hard on him. BUt, he was lucky he had the [stupid] friends he does. And he's luckly they are so bloody brilliant. How many other 5th years could pull off becoming illegal Animagi? Lily thought all that the anti-werewolf crap was stupid. Remus was one of the best people she had ever met! That's why she kept his secret, she wasn't about to let him get kicked out of Hogwarts because of something he couldn't control!  
  
Friday came and all too soon it was 7 o'clock. She really didn't feel like dealing with the Marauders and their antics. She was tired and was sure Sirius didn't need tutoring. He just joked off in class to piss Deledda off. Maybe, she could just convince the idiot to bring his grades up and be done with it. She hoped so. She arrived at the library at 6:55 and went towards the back to her normal table. Five minutes later, she was joined by the boys. Sirius sat across from her, Remus next to her, and James across fom him. She had out all her books and notes from the year and was waiting for Sirius to do the same. Slowly, he caught on and pulled a textbook and a few pieces of parchment. She laughed when she saw the parchment held very little notes and mostly just doodles of different things in the dungeons.   
  
"You're quite the artist." Lily commented. She sighed, looked at Sirius and asked him, straight out "Do you really need my help or could you just start working in class? You could even copy my notes." She added, handing him her rather thick notebook. He took it, sighing, but then flashed her his most charming smile. She just rolled her eyes and smirked at him.   
  
"Ah. But, Miss Flower, I am in desperate need of your assistance. What ever should I do without your guidance?" She sighed and asked him "So I suppose that means I still have to tutor you?" He nodded, happily, and opened the notebook, amazed at the detail of her notes. Neither of them noticed, of course, James staring daggers at his best mate, ignoring Remus all together.  
  
"James.... James? Look, we don't really have to do this, do we? I mean...if you just did what you should in class, you'd be fine." But, Remus realized his friend wasn't paing attention. Crumpling up a piece of parchment, Remus threw it at James, but it had no effect. Then, knowing it wasn't exactly very nice, he whispered to James "You know, I don't think Sirius will like that you fancy his girlfriend..." James looked wildly at Remus, eyes wide and worried, thinking: Sirius was dating Lily?!?! But, looking sideways, Remus saw two other pairs of eyes stare at him, one set amused, the other seemed...well almost sad. Apparently, his whisper was rather loud....  
  
Sirius started laughing when he realized what Remus had said and what James had practically admitted with his horrified glance. Of course, Lily took James' reaction quite different. She assumed his horrified look was at the thought of something thinking he liked her. She quickly looked away, afraid she might cry. Of course he didn't like her! The boy had pride. After someone saying for the past 6 years how much they hate you, of course he's going to give up. But it still hurt. She sighed murmured to Sirius to return her notes before their next potions lesson. She left quickly, leaving three confused boys behind, heading straight for her tree by the lake. And there she sat, away from any prying eyes, and stared out into the lake. She refused to cry, but also refused to go to the Head Common room. Mason was there, inspecting all the prefect's decorations. The only reason she and Remus got out of it was because they had to tutor. If she went back, she'd be stuck there forever. Hearing footsteps, Lily saw Remus behind her. She stood up to face him.   
  
"Lily, are you okay? I didn't mean to upset you or anything. Just teasing him. He...well he doesn't fancy you..." He mumbled that last part, looking down at his feet. She looked down at the ground and said to him, trying very hard to keep her voice steady "Yeah, I know...I figured by his expression. He seemed rather disgusted at the thought." As she said the last part, she heard her voice crack a little and a tear began to fall down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away, glad her hair was covering her face. "Look, Remus, I have to get back to my dorm. Dylan is going over decorations and asked me to join him after tutoring. I'll tell him your still in the library, at least one of us will get out of it, ya'know?" She looked up and walked past him, stopping only when whe got a few feet in front of him. She noticed how tired and sick he looked, then remembered the full moon was in a day. She reached out and moved the hair from his face. "I know you must feel horrid. I'll just tell Mason you got sick. Then I won't have to lie, because it is a sickness..." He looked up at her, worried. She shook her head and said to him, "I haven't told anyone, and won't. I've known since like... 3rd year, I think?" She laughed, gave him a rather awkward hug and walked rather quickly back to the dorm. Lily was amazed to find the Head Common Room empty of Mason and his neurotic ramblings. He must have taken them down to the Great hall to see how it would all look. She went straight to her room and fell into bed. There, she began to cry and eventually fell asleep.  
  
Lily woke up late and stayed in bed for a while, thinking. She hated this....these stupid feelings. And now she knew he didn't feel the same. What was she going to do? Just sit around while he dates every girl in this school? Well, she couldn't very well tell him how she felt, could she? She sighed and dragged herself out of bed. After a shower, she dressed in a pair of comfortable jeans and a deep, emerald green sweater. Then, she made her way down to the Great Hall, just in time for lunch. She ate in silence, as always, and as soon as she was finished, she rushed off to the library. Halfway there, she was stopped by Mason. He was babbling excitedly and dragged her towards Professor's McGonagall. He had found a spell that allowed the decorations to seem alive [and rather frightening], only they needed permission. She stood next to him, silently, while he explained all this to McGonagall rapidly. She gave him permission and the next week went by in a flash for Lily. She spent the week tutoring Sirius, who even on her worst days made her smile, working with Mason, who was more excited by the day about this non-costume ball to be held on Saturday, and finishing every last bit of her work. By Friday morning, Lily was almost looking forward to seeing the Great Hall all dressed up. She was thrilled that classes had been canceled. At noon, she bumped into Sirius [who was still calling her "Flower"] and James. It was rather awkward to just stand there in silence, so Lily excused herself and walked towards the Great Hall for lunch. Then, to help the time pass, she helped put up some decorations and went to the library afterwards. By 5:30, she was back in her dorm, getting dressed.  
  
Lily loved her dress robes. They were made of a silky material and a little tighter than her normal clothes, but she adored the color. It was a deep, emerald green, the color of her eyes. She left her curly, red hair down, with a charm to keep it from getting messy. She didn't really like to put that much make-up, so she just used some really dark green, almost metallic, eyeliner, thick on her upperlid, drawing it out past her eye for that cat-eye look. With some clear lip gloss and some glitter in her hair, Lily was ready. She was to meet Mason a half hour before the ball started at 7. Before she left her dorm, an owl came swooping in the window. To avoid getting mussed up, she stepped away from the owl, who just dropped off a flower and a letter and left. She opened the letter and smiled.  
  
Flower,  
  
Would you do me the great honor of joining me at the ball? Of course, only as friends. If you already have a date, then please return this lovely lily I have sent to you as an answer. If I don't recieve the lily, then I shall meet you at the Great Hall.  
  
Your Friend,  
  
Sirius.  
  
Picking up the lily, she placed it in her hair, securing it with a clip. Now, she was ready. Lily met up with Mason and his date in the Common Room. The three of them made their way to the Great Hall. After everything met up to Mason's standards, it was 7. She waited at the doors for Sirius. He snuck up behind her and scared his friend, who playfully hit him. He offered her his arm, which she graciously took and the two walked into the Great Hall. All of Mason's plans paid off, the ball was perfect. The two were sitting at one of the many tables, joking and laughing, when Remus, James, and Peter joined them. Lily tried to remain calm, but it was hard... James looked so sad. She wanted to ask him why, but couldn't bring himself to do it. Instead, she accepted an invitation to dance with Sirius.  
  
"So, Flower, why do you look so...depressed?" Sirius asked, suddenly serious [a/n: i know...leave it alone...please?]. Lily sighed and rested her head against her friend's shoulder. "He looks so sad...what do you suppose is wrong?" She asked in reply. Sirius didn't have to ask who, he could see clearly who she was staring out. James' head was on the table and he was talking to Remus, who seemed to be consoling him about something. He sighed and decided if James wasn't going to tell her, he would. "Well, love, it's cause he thinks he lost his chance." Lily looked up at him, confused "Chance at what?" Sirius chuckled and whispered quietly "You, of course. His chance with you." She shook her head and put it back onto his shoulder. "He doesn't want one. Remus told me. He doesn't fancy me anymore. And I don't appreciate being the targt of one of your not-so-funny jokes!" By the tone of her voice, Sirius knew she was hurt. "Not joking love, and Remus lied. James loves you more than ever....he just gave up..." Lily shook her head again and turned her head towards Sirius' neck. He could feel her tears against his shoulder. She took a deep breath and, as the song ended, moved away from Sirius and ran out of the Great Hall. No one took great notice, only Remus and Sirius saw her slip out. And, at that moment, they also realized James was gone...  
  
She found herself once again facing her tree. Only, there was someone sitting there already. She took a few steps closer and saw it was ... "James?" she asked softly. He turned around to see who it was. When he saw Lily, his eyes became even more hopeless. She couldn't stand to see him like this. She walked up to him and sat down, facing him. He looked down at the ground, refusing to meet her eyes. She put her hand under his chin and forced his face up. "James? What's wrong?" she asked softly. He just shook his head and looked out at the lake. She moved his head to face her again. "Fine, you don't want to tell me?" she asked, getting a little angry at his pity. She moved her hand from his chin to his cheek and kissed him. He was shocked, unsure what was going on, until she broke the kiss, a sad look in her eyes. She scoffed and began to get up. "Guess I was wrong..." she muttered quietly. But, before she could stand, she was pulled back down and into a kiss by James, who seemed to finally come to his senses. As he broke the kissed, James laughed. "What made you come out here, Lily?" he asked. She looked at him and said "Well, you gave up, so I was pretty sure you wouldn't be coming out here to look for me..." He looked a little confused. "Gave up?" he asked. She nodded and leaned against him. "Yup. You gave up hope of us getting together. Stopped asking me out." she looked down at the ground. "Oddly enough, it hurt when you stopped... well, it seemed like you stopped caring." She said quietly. He lifted her face up towards his, just as she had done. "Love, I never stopped caring. And I never gave up." She smiled and kissed him again. And so they sat there for quite some time, snogging and even talking and laughing a bit. They were perfectly content for the first time in a very long time. And that's how they stayed until rudely interupted by a spash made by the Giant Squid.  
  
A/N: I know the ending is.... cut off... but this story was getting long. Umm...I didn't really want to upload this, but I spent a while on the story so...just give me some feedback...I'll thank you in my other story [Confiding and Confessing] and yes, I am shamelessly advertising my other story but.... 


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